


Experiment in intimacy

by Winglesss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Grace, Asexual Castiel, Bottom Dean, Comeplay, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Grace Bondage, Grace Kink, Grace Sex, Grace Sharing, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Voyeurism, asexual character in sexual situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 05:43:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8151124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winglesss/pseuds/Winglesss
Summary: Dean does his best to be considerate of Castiel´s sexuality, after all, he loves the angel exactly the way he is and they can be intimate even without sex. On the other hand, when Castiel becomes interested in experimenting, Dean doesn´t complain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I´m not ace. I only started to understand the concept of asexuality through tumblr posts and fanfics and I found out there´s not enough of them. That´s why I tried to contribute with this little thingy. I tried my best to do it the right way, but if I failed, please tell me and I´ll try to fix it. Let´s take it as my experiment too :)
> 
> This fic was originally posted on [tumblr](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/150460498978/part-13-warnings-nsfw-asexual-character-in)

Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed when Cas told him he didn’t like sex. But Cas is okay with kissing and hugging and holding hands, so Dean’s okay. There are more important things than sex in a relationship and with Cas Dean has them all.

That’s what he feels with his heart and understands with his head, his body, though, has a different opinion.

When Cas shifts closer during a cuddling session, wiggling his butt against Dean’s crotch, Dean’s cock gets a bit too excited.

"Ugh, sorry," Dean mumbles, pulling away. He’s beet red when Cas turns to look at him, which is ridiculous because he’s never been embarrassed for getting an erection while in bed with his lover ever in his life.

"I don’t... I can’t control that, you know?" he stutters awkwardly.

"Dean, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize," Cas says in a soft voice. He tries to rub Dean’s arm soothingly, but Dean flinches away.

"Just... just gimme a moment, you touching me doesn’t help the situation."

Castiel’s eyes travel down Dean’s torso to the bulge in his pants and back up to his face. He bites his lower lip before he speaks.

"You can take care of it."

Dean’s eyes shoot wide. "What?"

Cas motions to Dean’s boner. "You can bring yourself to release instead of waiting for it to fade."

Dean gasps. He’s not sure if he’s more surprised by Cas’ suggestion or his choice of words that is as far fro dirty talk as possible yet still strangely hot.

"Like now? Here? You don’t mind?"

A soft smile spreads on Cas’ lips. "No, Dean, I don’t mind. I don’t want to participate in a sexual act, but I think I... I wouldn’t mind seeing you doing so." Now it’s Cas’ cheeks that get a faint tint of pink.

Dean is staring at him for a moment before nodding jerkily. "Okay. Fine," he breathes out and hooks his thumbs under the waistband of his sweatpants. He pulls them down, not lower than the middle of his thighs, and wraps his hand around his half-hard cock. He lets out a pleased sound and looks up at Cas.

He expected to see Cas looking at his exposed cock, but the angel is glaring into his face instead. It feels a bit awkward, so Dean squeezes his eyes shut and focuses only on the feeling of his hand sliding against the sensitive skin of his cock.

He’s losing himself in the growing pleasure when Castiel’s deep voice startles him.

"Open your eyes, Dean," he growls.

Dean feels a thrill running through his body and he  obeys immediately, his breath hitching when he sees Cas.

The angel’s eyes are fixed on Dean’s and they are dark, full of affection and want.

Dean has never seen Castiel like this and the sight makes his cock twitch.

He licks his lips and doesn’t miss Cas trailing the movement with his eyes. To Dean’s utter surprise Cas leans in to catch Dean’s lips with his.

Dean moans into the kiss and picks up the pace of his hand.

Cas pulls away with a groan and Dean’s eyes automatically fall down to where Cas’ hand is cupping his own growing erection.

"Cas, you-"

"Keep going," he growls, fighting with his pants.

When Dean sees the angel wrap his slender fingers around his cock, it only takes him a few more strokes to come with a shout of the angel’s name.

He’s still riding the waves of pleasure when Cas pulls him into a heated kiss, his hand working frantically on his own cock. He comes only a moment later, moaning into the crook of Dean’s shoulder as Dean strokes his hair iddly.

They lie side by side breathing heavily as they come down.

"So," Dean starts, grinning at Cas as he rolls to his side, "you get off on watching me getting off."

"Yes, seeing you getting pleasure-" Cas trails off, heaving a pleased sigh, "it arouses me."

"Does that, uhm... change anything?" Dean asks.

Cas crooks an eyebrow. "I still don’t feel like touching your genitals, Dean. But I enjoy touching mine while you touch yours."

Dean huffs out a laugh. "You know, it was kinda hot until you put it like that."

"I don’t understand-" Dean cuts him off with a kiss.

"We will try that again, right?" Dean whispers against Castiel’s lips.

"I’d love that," Cas answers with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean’s excited about them experimenting with intimacy, don’t get him wrong, he just expected it to be kind of a special treat and he still felt it was kind of compromise from Cas’ side. He definitely didn’t expect the angel to initiate anything. That’s why he’s so surprised when Cas rushes to their room, locking the door behind himself before pulling a box from under his trenchcoat.

"I bought us something," he says with a toothy grin.

Dean sits up on the bed and puts aside the book he was reading.

"What’s it?" he asks, he can see Cas basically bouncing with anticipation.

Dean’s eyes almost fall out of his skull when he opens the box and sees a silicone dildo.

He looks up at Cas, shock still clear on his face. "You want me to-"

"Yes," Cas nods excitedly, then his smile falters, "you don’t like the idea," he notes with a frown.

"No, that’s not-" Dean shakes his head, "I just... you don’t need to do this, you know that, right?"

Letting out a sigh Cas sits down on the bed next to Dean and takes his hand.

"Dean, I know you’re okay with us not having sex and I appreciate it," he says, looking Dean deep in the eyes. "But I really enjoyed what we did the other night and I thought sharing such intimate moment would bring us closer to each other. So if-"

Dean doesn’t let him finish, he pulls him in for a kiss instead.

"Yes, yes, I want it. I want to fuck myself with a dildo and I want you to come from watching me." He can already feel himself getting hard from the idea.

Castiel chuckles softly and shrugs his coat off.

Dean looks at the dildo, then back at Castiel.

"Could we... could we do it naked this time?" he asks shyly.

Castiel considers it for a moment.

"Why not? I don’t think it would make me uncomfortable," he says eventually.

"If it does, you can change your mind anytime, okay?" Dean adds, eyes wide.

In place of an answer, Castiel leans in to place a soft kiss on Dean’s cheek.

When he pulls away, they’re both naked. Dean huffs out a laugh, shaking his head.

 Castiel squints at him confused.  "What? This is much faster than the traditional way."

"Yeah, but... there’s a certain charm in stripping slowly. I’ll have to show you next time." He winks at Cas before pulling him in for a kiss.

They spend a few minutes like that, just kissing slowly, almost reverently, not touching except for their lips and Dean’s hand gently cupping Cas’ cheek.

It’s Dean who breaks the kiss with a sigh, his body is getting a bit impatient. He reaches into the first drawer of his bedside table for a bottle of lube. Meanwhile, Castiel takes a comfortable position against the headboard of the bed.

Dean hesitates for a moment, not sure what’s the best way to do this. He decides he’ll just have to try.

He squirts a generous amount of lube into his palm and hands the bottle to Cas.

"Can you lube it for me, babe?" he asks pushing the box still holding the dildo closer to Cas.

Nodding the angel grabs the toy and places the box on the floor beside the bed.

For a moment Dean just watches the strong muscles of Cas’ arms and neck moving underneath the plains of naked skin, then his eyes fall to Cas’ hand that starts to stroke the dildo slowly as if it was a real dick and he suddenly remembers there’s something else on the program.

Dean gives his cock a few quick strokes to ease some tension before he lies down - his torso on the bed, his thighs under him so his ass is in the air.

He reaches around himself and hisses when he brushes his lubed fingers against his hole because the lube is still cold.

This time, he doesn’t need to be reminded to keep his eyes open. Castiel looking down at him in the intense way of his is the best part.

Dean keeps rubbing the puckered skin of his hole until he feels himself relax, he can’t deny he’s a bit nervous.

He lets out a harsh breath as he pushes one digit in and sees Castiel’s lips fall apart. Encouraged by the angel’s reaction, he pulls the finger out only to push it back in, deeper this time.

Not for a second do Castiel’s eyes leave Dean’s face, they don’t slide down Dean’s body, don’t try to steal a peek of Dean’s hole. Dean would feel upset about it and it would make him feel self-conscious about his body if he didn’t understand that for Castiel, this isn’t about the flash. It’s purely Dean’s pleasure that interest Cas.

So Dean gives him just that and keeps fucking himself with his finger. He soon adds another one and starts scissoring them to work himself open. He isn’t holding back any of the sounds that are slipping off his mouth. With anyone else he would feel embarrassed by them, hell, with anyone else he wouldn’t be putting up a show of fucking himself, but the way Cas’ breath hitches with every choked out cry and soft moan makes a wave of arousal run down Dean’s spine.

As he adds the third finger he breathes out Castiel’s name. Only then he realizes they haven’t said a single word in a while. Now it’s as if the dam broke.

"Dean," Cas moans, shifting on the bed so he faces Dean. "You’re so beautiful like this. You have no idea what seeing you like this is doing to me. You’re incredible, Dean." After a while, Cas’ words blend into an incoherent deep rumble in Dean’s ears, but it doesn’t lessen their impact on Dean.

It doesn’t take long for Dean to reach for the dildo ready in Cas’ hands. He needs more and he needs it right now.

He lines the toy up with his hole and takes a deep breath. His eyes fall shut as the tip breaches his rim and a whine rips it’s way out of his throat as he pushes the dildo deeper. Okay, so maybe he should have spent more time prepping himself.

He’s lying with his eyes shut, breathing heavily as he’s trying to relax.

It feels like an electric current running through his body when a tender hand falls on his back. He gasps a little, then hums in appreciation as Cas starts to rub his back.

Castiel’s fingers slide into the hair on the back of Dean’s head, scratching his scalp lightly. It’s so delicious that Dean’s consequent moan sounds like taken from a porn movie.

Dean opens his eyes and moans again. He feels like he could come from the sight alone. Cas is hard already, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving. What’s more important is the look in his eyes. He’s staring at Dean with so much love, so much care, that Dean feels like his chest is going to explode with the amount of affection he’s feeling.

Cas’ hand slides down along  Dean’s spine, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Thanks to Cas’ ministrations Dean has relaxed, the slight pain is all gone and all he’s feeling is pleasure and need.

Slowly, he starts to move the dildo in and out, deeper and harder with every thrust.

He watches Cas taking himself in his hand and he wishes he could touch him, feel him inside his body instead of silicone, taste him on his lips.

A whimper escapes his mouth. He shouldn’t feel like that, he should be grateful for what he has and he is, truly, but having Cas so close and out of reach at the same time is kind of torturous.

He chases that thought away as he sees Cas shudder, his hand slick with precome. Seeing Cas like this is more than he’s asked for and he’s going to enjoy it without thinking what if.

He pushes the dildo harder and cries out as it hits his prostate. Castiel’s hand tightens at the back of Dean’s neck, making Dean look up into his lover’s face. Cas is biting his lower lip to stiffen his moans as he’s fucking into his fist.

Moaning, Dean pushes his hips back on the dildo, fucking himself with earnest. He feels like there’s fire burning inside him and he knows they’re both close. That’s when an idea hits him.

"Cas," he pants, "come on me, babe, please."

He sees Cas’ movements come to a halt.

"Dean-"

"Please," Dean whines.

Cas takes a shuddering breath and positions himself so he’s kneeling by Dean’s side. This way Dean can’t see him, but the slick sound of Cas’ hand working his cock and the litany of Dean’s name rushing from  Cas’ mouth are enough to drive him crazy.

He’s already on the edge when Cas’ breath hitches and spurts of hot come fall on his skin. That’s it, that’s the closeness he needed, to feel like he belongs to Cas. He comes so hard he sees stars dancing behind his eyelids.

Still riding the waves of pleasure, he pulls the dildo out and lets it drop on the bed before he collapses on the sticky sheets.

Cas is right next to him, pulling him into a hug, kissing his forehead tenderly. With a sweep of his grace, all the mess they made is gone and there’s just the comfortable warmth of his body surrounding Dean.

"Awesome," is all Dean’s able to croak. Cas breathes out a soft chuckle.

"Indeed," he whispers.


	3. Chapter 3

They do it every time their busy lives allow them. Sometimes Cas holds Dean while he comes with a vibrator pushed snuggly against his prostate, sometimes he watches from the other end of the room when Dean quickly jerks off. He doesn’t always get off himself, but Dean knows not to take it personally. He understands Cas simply enjoys seeing him and his own carnal pleasure is just a cherry on top.

They always kiss and cuddle a lot afterward.

 

Dean’s happy with how these thinks worked out for them. He doesn’t crave more and he definitely doesn’t expect Cas to come with something new again.  But as always, Castiel surprises him.

"Dean, I’d like to try something," he says between kisses. They are alone in the bunker, but he pushed Dean into their room and locked the door anyway so Dean knows what kind of thing Cas has in mind.

"Hm, what’s it? A new toy?" he asks.

"Not really," Cas says suddenly looking unsure. "I want it to be a surprise."

Dean frowns in confusion. "So what? You’re not telling me? Then how do you want to try it?"

Castiel answers with a soft smile. "You just need to trust me and do what I say."

Dean feels his heart beating faster thanks to a mixture of excitement and fear. Cas must read his wide-eyed expression wrong because he looks worried.

"You can tell me if I do something you don’t like and I will stop immediately!" he adds hurriedly.

Dean smiles at him a bit forced. "I believe I won’t need that."

It’s Cas’ turn to frown. "I’m serious, I need to know you’ll tell me even if you’re just slightly uncomfortable. This kind of thing has to be based on mutual trust."

Dean tries to breathe evenly but his voice still shakes when he speaks. "This kind of thing? So are we talking subbing and domming?" He hates the way he sounds like it’s something he’s scared of. He’s not, he likes that kind of stuff. Well, he likes it theoretically, now when it looks like he’s going to have a first- hand experience, he’s a bit nervous.

Cas looks at him, chewing his lower lip. "Kind of, yes, it’s not... it’s not the main thing, but it’s part of it."

Dean lets out a heavy breath. "Dude, you’re killing me. Why can’t you just tell me?"

"Trust me, it will be worth it," Cas says with a grin and who is Dean to resist that?

"Okay, alright," he nods after a moment.

Castiel smiles and cups Dean’s cheek as he kisses him slowly before he whispers against his lips. "Why don’t you start with taking your clothes off? Then you can make yourself comfortable on the bed."

As Dean starts unbottoning his shirt, Cas walks to the corner of the room and flops himself in the armchair that’s pushed against the wall facing the bed.

Dean is taking his time getting rid of his clothes, touching himself more than necessary, eyes fixed on Cas who twitches impatiently, hands curling into fists. He doesn’t hurry Dean up, though, just watches him with dark eyes, licking his lips from time to time. Dean smiles to himself and folds his clothes neatly, putting them on the dresser before he stretches himself on the bed with a sigh.

For a moment nothing is happening. Cas is sitting in the chair, motionless. Dean can hear his steady breathing.

He’s quickly growing impatient, maybe this is just a weird joke, maybe he should get up.

 Then he finally feels it, maybe it has been there the whole time but so subtle at first that he hasn’t noticed until now. It’s like something is covering his whole body - soft and warm like a blanket but totally weightless. He thinks maybe he’s just imagining it but then comes another sensation. Soft tingling starting on his chest. It’s like a very weak electrical current, like tiny fingers running over his skin. Dean instinctively wants to brush it away but finds out he can’t move his hands.

"Shhh," Cas hushes him from across the room. Dean lets out a shaky breath and tries not to twitch.

It brushes over his parted lips, then finds its way to the sensitive spot behind his ear. It runs down his throat, stops at the hollow of his neck and continues to his nipple, making it harden immediately. Dean shudders, swallowing a moan.

"Dean? Should I stop?" Cas asks, his voice soft.

"No," Dean chokes out. "What is it? Is it some kind of a mojo?" he asks, writhing on the sheets as the feeling moves down his belly.

"Not exactly," Castiel answers. "Is it uncomfortable?"

"No," Dean sighs, "just... just..." He can’t find the right word. Intense, unusual, maybe a bit scary.

Castiel doesn’t say anything, but the sensation changes. It spreads over Dean’s loins and lower belly, it softens as if passionate kissing and nibbling was exchanged with tender touches.

Dean feels himself relax. He’s hard even though the spell (or what it is) is ignoring his cock. He bends his legs and spreads them a little, giving Cas a better acess even though he suspects it isn’t necessary.

He gasps when the invisible sparks of the spell dance over his balls and perineum.

"Okay?" Cas asks, his voice deep and husky.

Dean shakes his head, hands curling into fists against his magic bonds.

He’s far from okay. He’s done with teasing. He needs more, he needs everything Castiel can give him.

"Please," Dean moans, "please, Cas!"

Cas lets out a sound that’s half sigh half laughter and his attention shifts to Dean’s hole. At first, it’s just the buzzy feeling at his rim, then it starts to enter him - warm and vibrating and Dean chokes out a string of profanities.

It fills him. Not just his ass, but it’s in his veins too, it touches his nerves and connects to his heart and Dean finally realizes what it actually is.

"Cas!" he cries out. "Cas, Cas, you-"

It’s him. It’s Castiel. His grace, his very esence is inside Dean pulsing against his prostate, burning with their shared pleasure.

It makes him sob. He’s overwhelmed. It’s much more than he could ever imagine. He’s never even dreamed of being this close to Castiel. Not his vessel, but the real him. The infinite celestial force, the vast being made of kindness and compassion, the eons of experience. He feels it all. He feels Castiel. He opens to him, his body and his soul.

For a moment that seems like centuries, they become one. Dean knows that Castiel feels the carnal pleasure of Dean’s flesh and Dean perceives the world beyond the human senses. He gets so lost in it that he almost forgets he has a body. He’s floating, he’s boundless.

Then his body calls him back and all his senses slam into him at once as he comes. He’s screaming, writhing on the bed, his hands not held down anymore. Wave after wave of pleasure washes over him, leaving him boneless and out of breath.

When it’s over he’s just lying with his eyes closed, trying to get used again to having a hearbeat. He feels wetness on his cheeks and on his belly and he’s shivering minutely.

The mattress dips and Castiel’s warm limbs envelop him. Dean curls around him, pressing as close as possible while limited by their physical forms.

Castiel is naked, flushed from his own orgasm. He feels incredibly human in Dean’s arms, but from now on Dean will always be aware of what is actually hidden in his vessel.

Castiel pets his sweaty hair and the shivering subsides, Dean’s breathing evens out and he takes reign of his voice.

"So this was angel sex?"

Castiel huffs out a soft laugher, his breath ruffling Dean’s hair. "I guess you can put it like that."

"Hmmm, I kinda understand now why you’re not interested in human fucking."

Castiel opens his mouth to say something too deep and too complex for Dean’s fucked out brain to grasp so he cuts him off with a kiss.

When they part, Castiel’s eyes are sparkling, his lips curled into a sweet smile.

"I wasn’t sure it was possible with a human, but I hoped... I _believed_ that it would be possible with you." Castiel stroks Dean’s flushed cheek gently. "You’re special. Our bond is profound."

Dean squeezes his eyes closed to stop the wetness rushing to them. he feels like his heart is going to explode.

"I love you," is all he manages to say. He burries his face into the crook of Cas’ neck, breathing him in.

Castiel hugs him tighter. "I love you too, Dean. You should sleep now."

Dean doesn’t protest. 


End file.
